This is Mark Thompson, Ph.D., President & CEO of weAttract.com. The industry can benefit from practical ideas, but we should also be open at this point to outrageously innovative ideas! What if we could start from scratch?...or should we even bother? If we were to build a new site, how would it work and what would it offer?

Just curious, If sites, such as www.web.tickle.com/marriage/ are using stock photography for their testimonials, are we to assume that the testimonials are fabricated as well. Which sites are we to believe?

IMO the dating sites should stop making huge promises and just be a platform for people from diverse backgrounds to interact with each other.

I heard that they (whoever "they" are) are trying to legislate that dating sites have to check their members for criminal records. That can't be true, can it?

If one were to build a new site, I would highly suggest coming up with a new spin for the profile paragraphs.

Everybody seems to write the same cookie-cutter rhetoric and it ends up being a huge waste of time for everyone involved. I know, I know, you're extremely well-rounded and can enjoy a night on the town OR an evening at home cuddled up with a good movie - how versatile!

Dont forget "love long walks on the beach."

But you're right...most people end up writing the same tired things because the sites require that you write something. They encourage you to be creative and try to write something that makes you stand out, but let's face it...most people enjoy doing the same types of things--dinner and a movie, nature, sports, etc. So, I think there should be a place to list your interests--and how important they are to you--not the same old list with checkboxes that the dating site thinks are important to you.

Online dating sites need to stop promising that they can find your "soulmate" and that their recommended matches result in marriage. One has to be skeptical at claims such as these. Where can the user find the data to support these claims?

Quoting giggles75238 "that dating sites have to check their members for criminal records. That can't be true, can it?" ... Well even if its being done by any dating site I dont think its a huge determinant in finding one's "soul mate"....

Can such websites also check a user's past medical record ? What if some1 with AIDS has registered. Again I think its all based on mutual trust of people who get to know each other through such medium. What I would expect from these sites is a good platform for interaction and lots of 'single and looking' ;)

Most online dating services are open to nearly anyone who wants to try them, but the overall success rate of people finding a lasting relationship is less than 10%. So if this is such a great way to meet people, why is there such a high rate of failure when using online dating services?

As a counsellor for the once largest dating agency in the world (‘Together’ with 186 Office) I have encountered deception and misrepresentation by companies and singles alike, even before the superhighway to passion became mainstream. Not much has changed since. Dating companies, having served over a billion are nothing more than McDate drive-thru(s). Everyone in this love-commodity market seeks their peacock among the feather dusters. Unfortunately, there are not enough peacocks around. Most people are average, good people and don’t come with stunning looks, brilliant IQs, eternal youth, trim bodies or huge wallets.

As much as dating companies are only poised to loosen some cash out the pockets of vulnerable, love-seeking singles and shed any social responsibility, they cannot be blamed for the “What’s in it for me” attitude of singles themselves. Too many singles go online or in the real world equipped with a wish-list not in the least concerned if they themselves offer what they are asking for in another person.

An example from practice as a relationship/dating coach: He is short, overweight, unattractive, average intelligence, nothing sophisticated about him, but he is seeking a very attractive, fit, slim, sophisticated and tall younger woman – may I ad he does not have money to speak of. Even the exchange theory: beauty for wealth does not apply her. Go figure this out? The point is: unless singles make a point of building relationship success based on the strength of character coupled with a realistic self-concept, instead of clever-minded dating strategies, even the most revised dating company would not improve dating success itself.

Apart from regulating business practices, we cannot expect these companies to baby-sit. Because I do not match people in my company, rather I only coach singles (I am bold, but very kind) it is easy for me to say that if we were to start a new dating company we would have to start with coaching singles to built a great character. Great relationships require great characters, a fact that will never change. Appearance is important, but nothing attracts love more than a great character of integrity. Feel Free to e-mail me on this topic: allie@fit2love.com

Is it common for a dating company to spam you? Lately I've been receiving numerous emails from "so-called matches", requesting that I wink at them for free. These emails are designed to give a false impression that a member is interested in dating me. But in reality it's just canned spam. A marketing ploy attempting to lure me into becoming a member of their site.

When and if I were to use this dating service, I'd prefer that they didn't try to mislead me! "Just my two cents".

i think there should be a sex guarenteed category so you find horny people

I had been reading the report / whitepaper named CONSUMERS ARE HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT ONLINE DATING; written by the company WeAttract and what most caught my attention was on page 22:

/////…..it should not be too surprising that online dating may have unanticipated consequences. In fact, studies of major technologies and inventions (from cell phones to antibiotics to cars) have found a repeated pattern of:

Intensity of spread and excitementDisaster or highly publicized damage is observedReform occurs in the industryVigilance by industry and consumers become necessary.

If online dating follows this trend, we can expect problems to arise that will bring the “intensity” period to an end. This is not an inevitable cycle. The question for the online dating industry is:What level of “disaster” will it take to lead to reform and new guidelines in the industry? Will the “disaster” have to occur on your own site before you make changes?……/////

The authors self asked in the report: / whitepaper:What level of “disaster” will it take to lead to reform and new guidelines in the industry?I think the answer is very easy: conversion rate from users to clients goes to 0.00% !!!

OnLine Dating & Social Networking Industry is in a SECOND BIG BUBBLE, that will explode soon. Some problems appeared in many sites:Many are NOT profitable now and will never be.Many are full of fake profiles, invented profiles to attract users and then try to convert in clients. The database is full of rubbish, ads, persons that tell lies or not exist, persons that use retouched or fake photos, etc. (LOW RELIABILITY)Many have low reliability & low precision in matching persons.

All these make the average conversion rate from users to clients to decrease fast.The strategy to give free memberships to have a good amount of users and then try to convert them in clients will not work any more, because they will remain as users for ever and ever. (a vicious circle)

Many new sites will try to specialize in different topics (like pets, children, food, education, lifestyle, geographical, cars), to serve a niche market, but the objective is to build an online community not a GHETTO. Online community is a group of persons that interact each other and a person who is paying a fee is a client –not a free user- and of course, sooner or later, will like to meet other compatible real persons. (high reliability). He or She is not loosing precious time, He or She is investing in a long term relationship with future in mind. I also think that the Industry will require a collaborative environment to develop innovations in "Personality Test Matching / Dating Method" (eg: a group of engineers, psychologists, marketing consultants working together) in next 5 years. The future will be in applying border studies (frontier studies, a combination of different knowledge from different sciences)

A new great niche market will appear: - all the persons that have been hurt in their feelings by other persons in many actual on line dating sites. Many people COMPLAINT ABOUT AN IMPORTANT THING: SOONER OR LATER, they want to contact COMPATIBLE REAL PERSONS, so they will need reliability / high precision in on line dating. - persons that are SEARCHING for a multicultural on line dating. (e.g. a German person living in Germany and compatible with a Brazilian person who speaks Portuguese and lives in Australia) - persons that have time to wait. (as long as a whole year, or more). And all of them have the same reason to pay a fee: This fee will work as a barrier to avoid free users, who could hurt their feelings.

2005 - 2010 The Flight to QualityAll the discussion about background checks legislation in USA, shows that now, a more complex process started.I named this process "the flight to Quality". From now to the next 5 years the OnLine Dating & Social Networking Industry will need more than a simple "Code of Ethics".It will need an "internal procedures / quality / evaluation code"; i.e. how to manage clients, like a ISO 9001:2000 Quality Norms for this service Industry.(ISO 9001:2000 formerly known as ISO 9002) and external evaluators that will certify the companies complies with Quality norms, like Bureau Veritas http://www.bvqi.comTÜV Reinhlandhttp://www.tuv.com/en/index.phpor others.

Perhaps by 2010, ALL serious Dating Sites MUST have been certified and proudly show its certification mark/seal online.ON Line Dating future = = QUALITY like actual OFF Line Chains.

Kindest Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi.Buenos Aires.Argentina.

MISTAKES ON WeAttract’s report / whitepaper AND other comments

Please see endnote#8 on page 46 (THE SMALL LETTERS)

////#8 If the probability of any random match being a future spouse is 1 in 500, then the probability of the match not being a future spouse is 499/500.For this exercise, we assumed that each of the dates were independent, although this would probably not be the case in reality. The probability of finding your spouse after 2 matches would be (499/500) * 2 and after N such encounters would be (499/500) * N. Since (499/500) * 346 is 0.50, then one runs a 50% chance having not found a spouse and 50% of finding a spouse after 346 matches. Good statisticians would want us to remind you that the probability of any given date along the way being a future spouse doesn’t change, even if one seems overdue to have a good date (aka, the “gambler’s fallacy). This probability is meant to reflect what we can say about where you are likely to be a year from now, and the probability says that somewhere along the way you have a 50/50 chance of getting married.////

If the probability of any random match being a future spouse is 1 in 500 == 1/500 then the probability of the match not being a future spouse is 499/500.

After 2 independent matches;The probability of finding your spouse after 2 matches will be (1/500) * 2 == 2/500

After N independent matches; (N <= 500; N must be less or equal the whole sample)The probability of finding your spouse after N matches would be (1/500) * N == N /500

After 346 independent matches; (approximately 1 date a night per year) The probability of finding your spouse after 346 matches would be (1/500) * 346 == 346 /500 == 0.692 or 69.20 percent

Please see page 11,So for Mark (a guinea pig) Will need only 250 independent matches to reach 0.500 or 50.00 percent If the company named on that page delivers 1.5 dates per month, 18 per year.Mark will require 250 dates or 13.88 years to reach 50.00 percent and NOT 19 years.

The authors said / assumed: “If the probability of any random match being a future spouse is 1 in 500”The statement above is only THEORETICAL / HYPOTETICAL. It is not a real measurement, like you could go and measure a distance between two points. It was deduced from this way / this reasoning: The company named on page 11 reported 10,000 marriages from their site; 10,000,000 matches, and a database of 6,000,000 persons.10,000 matched pairs -out of 10,000,000 matches- ultimately married, or 0.001 or 0.1%. Thus, for every 1 recommended match that actually resulted in marriage, there were 999 matches that did not. (BUT PERHAPS THEY ARE IN-LOVE FOR SOME YEARS, 4 or 5 years, THEY DO NOT MARRY INMEDIATELY AFTER THEY WERE MATCHED)SO10 million matches were made, but only 20,000 people (0.002 or 0.2% OR 1 in 500 or 1/500) (10,000 marriages X 2 people) walked away with a success story.Thus, for every 1 person who goes on a date and meets their future spouse, 499 went out that night and did not. (BUT PERHAPS THEY FALL IN-LOVE AFTER 5 or 6 dates with the same person)

If more persons / pairs / matches -that are in love now- decide to marry soon they will change the figures. I.E. Suppose there are 90,000 new marriages during next 3 years 2005 to 2008, theTOTAL marriages will be 100,000 or 200,000 persons over 10 million matches (0.02 or 2.0% OR 1 in 50 or 1/50) and also suppose the database is 6,000,000 persons (the new users / clients rate is equal to the rate of persons leaving the database)

By 2008 the FREQUENCY of any random match being a future spouse will be 1 in 50 (ten times higher than the initial condition), and if you assume the FREQUENCY trends to PROBABILITY after manyrandom tries so for Mark (the guinea pig) By 2008 will only need 25 independent matches to reach 0.500 or 50.00 percent to find her future wife.If the company named on that page delivers 1.5 dates per month, 18 per year, Mark will require 25 dates or nearly 1 year 4 months and 21 days to reach a 50.00 percent probability. Very Good and Quite Quickly!!!! because serious dating it is not instant soup, instant coffee not a CALL-NOW instant offer.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Please see endnote#26 on page 46

////#26 It is important to distinguish between the nature of screening tests (which are for asymptomatic people) and diagnostic tests (which are calibrated among people already showing a disease, disorder, or problem behavior). Online dating is basically conducting a screening test on a non-existent relationship to predict its likelihood of developing into a good marriage or a bad one. False positives outnumber true positives with every screening test in medicine and psychology. Because screening tests are not 100% accurate and are performed on symptomatic and unlikely to be in the situation being considered (i.e. date, get engaged, get married, and then divorced), the risk of a false-positive result is significant. As with all tests, the interpretation of the result depends upon the prevalence of the disorder in the population being tested (Bayes Theorem). For example, if in a pool of potential dating candidates, 1% is a potential divorce (meaning I’d likely want to date this person, marry her, and years later decide to divorce). This would be the only value of the test, since if I would exclude the remaining people from consideration myself, only this 1% is worthy of concern. If the hypothetical “divorce detection device” has a sensitivity and specificity of 90%, the positive predictive value (i.e., the probability of true disease if the screening test is positive) is 8.3%. Thus, 11 patients will receive false positive results compared with every one true positive (or true potential divorce predicted). This is only a concern if one of the false positives is a person I am very interested in meeting and would be a wonderful match and spouse. Thus, the impact of “saving” people from negative events has to be balanced with how the false conclusions might change the course of the future in unanticipated way.False negatives would also be an issue, since such couples would have “false reassurance” and not take steps to address underlying problems along the way. Although most of us expect we could ignore such findings if we disagreed with them, research suggests that false tests results in medicine (such as being inaccurate diagnosed with hypertension or high cholesterol) resulted in lasting disability, even though the false positive test results was corrected relatively quickly. For future background see the indepth mathematical treatments by evidence-based medicine champion David Eddy (1991), USPSTF (1996), and for unanticipated effects of screening tests see Croyle, RT (1995).////

AND endnotes #27 and #28 on page 47

////#27 We have been advocates of telling consumers when a particular match is not a good fit according to the matching system. Before our first generation system was released on Match.com, search results were ranked, such that the best available person, no matter how poor the fit was at the top. With our systems, we are telling the consumer that based upon what they have said their preferences are, a specific person is considerably off what you way you wanted. If the user wishes to disregard this, they are simply over-riding their own opinion. We see a clear distinction between labeling someone as a bad fit based upon the user’s articulated preferences in a dating context (where the risk of a False Negative or False Positive are low) versus the same absolutes in prediction when marital outcome is at stake.

#28 If we have contributed to the impression that personality is the necessary and sufficient cornerstone for matching and predicting outcomes, this would be a case of our using persuasive tactics too well. //////

I had read these 3 endnotes #26, #27 and #28 several times, and they look very contradictory. (It appears #26 is not correct and looks opposite to #27)

--------------------COMMENTSPlease see endnotes #5 and #6 on page 46, and page 6

////#5 This is particularly bad news since marketing research has found that negative word of mouth is the most powerful predictor of future revenue decline. In fact, it’s a much better indicator of true customer sentiment than satisfaction ratings. Frederick Reichheld reported in his 2003 Harvard Business Review article, that the number of net promoters (those who recommend you) minus the number of detractors is the best predictor of revenue growth.

#6 Having worked in the healthcare industry during a similar shift in sentiment, I (Thompson) saw this process in action with the Kaiser Permanente brand. Although the health plan had the highest customer satisfaction and quality of care in California, consumers were more likely to remember or mistakenly associate negative incidents with the brand. Thus, we observed the opposite of “a rising tide lifts all boats.” In this situation, sinking ships tow the bigger ships down first./////

They said: word of mouth is the most powerful predictor of future revenue declineAND sinking ships tow the bigger ships down first.

Quite interesting!!! I believe it is happening now.

Applied to page 6 /////As new waves of consumers enter the market, they bring higher expectations than the early adopters. The industry is also encountering a cohort of singles, who have struggled with dating and relationships. They are deciding to give online dating a try.Unfortunately, these new consumers typically encounter “one size fits all” websites that offer nothing in the way of customized information or services. Not surprisingly, customer satisfaction with online dating has dropped. Plus, word of mouth, which had contributed to the industry’s growth, is now more bad than good. [Endnote#5] The most popular websites may be especially vulnerable since stories (good and bad) tend to “stick” totheir brands. [Endnote#6] Thus, the same forces that shifted industry perceptions in a positive way are now apparently pushing in the opposite direction./////

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Please also see endnote#52 on page 47

////52 To take this a step further, we believe the fundamental “problem” the industry is trying to solve is misguided. Even in an (impossibly) perfect form, an online dating service could only help courier people one small leg on the journey. The process of meeting a potential partner is challenging (especially for shy or quirky people), but it is hardly the only or even the most difficult obstacle in building a good relationship. In reality, the success or failure of a romantic relationship is shaped by the dynamics that emerge as the two of them grow together (or apart) over time.////

Quite interesting!!!. From now to the next 5 years the OnLine Dating & Social Networking Industry will need more than a

simple "Code of Ethics".It will need an "internal procedures / quality / evaluation code"; i.e. how to manage clients, like a ISO 9001:2000 Quality Norms for a Service Industry (formerly known as ISO 9002) and external evaluators that will certify the companies complies with Quality norms, like Bureau Veritas -http://www.bvqi.com-, TÜV Reinhland -http://www.tuv.com/en/index.php- or others.

Perhaps by 2010, ALL serious Dating Sites MUST have been certified and show its certification mark/seal online.ON Line Dating future = = QUALITY like actual OFF Line Chains

Although I think the report / whitepaper is very valuable, it has a good amount of advice, situation analysis and explanations about what this On Line Dating Industry will need in a near future, like Quality Norms; this report / whitepaper is not fully honest, has MISTAKES that could confuse readers.

Kindest Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi.Buenos Aires.Argentina.ardenghifer@argentina.com

Although I am Argentinean and my mother tongue / language is Spanish, I had taken WeAttract's personality test several times (in English)

In my opinion it is an excellent test that works only in English for USA.(personality testing depends on the language of the person)

In my own case I noticed that WeAttract's personality test:

Has a great precision to detect who I am looking for (a point in a scale from 1 to 10 in different personality factors of the desired partner)

BUT

Has a low precision to measure how are my personality factors (a bar, not a point, in a scale from 1 to 10 in my different personality factors)

Only works in English for USA, but not in other languages (like German, French, Chinese, Spanish For Spain, Spanish for Mexico, Spanish for Latin American, Sweden, etc, etc)

Cordially,

Fernando Ardenghi.Buenos Aires.Argentina.ardenghifer@argentina.com

Also, to be honest, I am the inventor of a dating method named LIFEPROJECT

http://mb.internetdatingconference.com/viewtopic.php?t=30

http://mb.internetdatingconference.com/viewtopic.php?t=134

I had been reading the article “Singles at a Glance – Single But Not Alone” at

http://www.one2onemag.com/new/singles_market_profile.asp

The most important sentences that caught my attention were:“......Young singles (under the age of 35) do what they love, and love what they do—they see their careers as an extension of their personality, thus seek out jobs that resonate with their core values and culture; changing jobs as often as they do mates on the journey to find the perfect fit.

......Being single today entails making the best of the life stage, to live a fulfilled life rather than waiting for marriage to complete one. Singles have a thirst for specialized services and simple solutions that provide speed and convenience. Singles place a higher emphasis on community rather than family, they define family differently; their hangout spots, fitness facilities, favorite websites etc are all included in the definition of their community.

.......Young singles are fun, educated and introspective thrill-seekers who embrace uniqueness, and enjoy belonging to communities of like-minded individuals. They are willing to pay higher premiums for brands that speak in a tone that they understand.

........Singles long for a connection with other singles. Note to marketers: Businesses with useful websites are more attractive to singles; these sites provide a place where experiences can be shared with a community of like-minded people. Singles spend more time online than the general public; they are especially devoted to their favorite sites. According to Jupiter Media Metrics visitors to online dating sites increased by 57% outpacing the 22% overall growth of the Internet.

........Singles feel more isolated than lonely. Note to Marketers: Use aspirational themes that reflect community and companionship or joy and happiness ahead. Singles seek more time, satisfying relationships, personal growth, success and community; this does not necessarily translate to a desire to be married. Many products peddle marriage as the ultimate destination – a better approach is presenting loving relationships and companionship, without necessarily implying a family........”

I agree with all the content

and

a great mistake in OnLine Dating / Social Networking sites is:

to believe / to assume that every single want to get married soon.

The article said “a better approach is presenting loving relationships and companionship, without necessarily implying a family”

These Single_But_Not_Alone persons are not interested in marriage satisfaction and stability predictors.

In old times marriage was the general rule and being single was the sad exception.

Now, in modern times, being Single_But_Not_Alone is / will be the general rule and being married is an exception, sometimes only a travel to divorce.

Many of these Single_But_Not_Alone persons will not share their bedrooms with other person; they do not tolerate a roommate any more.

At first instance, these singles want to contact persons who could be GOOD FRIENDS.A FRIEND: a brother/sister you can choose OR a person you can rely on, a reliable person, a predictable person, a person who acts /will act a similar way as you.You can mostly rely on a person if he/she is predictable. A person whose personality is similar to yours. After contacting a predictable person, a single is able to evaluate if he/she could fall in love with her/him.

This way of reasoning inspired me to develop LIFEPROJECT METHOD.

Kindest Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi.

Buenos Aires.

Argentina.

ardenghifer@argentina.com

If any dating site is offering FAKE profiles to attract users;it is a GREAT FRAUD.

Once upon somebody said "You get what you pay for"

Many online dating / social networking sites are offering a free-service / free-membership but

if

a person DOES NOT pay or DOES NOT want to pay for the service it clearly MEANS He or She are NOT INTERESTED in serious dating / networking.

A client MUST HAVE only one reason to pay a fee: this fee will work

- as a barrier to avoid free users, who could hurt other clients' feelings. If a client is paying SOONER OR LATER, will want to contact COMPATIBLE REAL PERSONS.

- as a barrier to avoid multiple / several profiles posted by the same person. - as a barrier to avoid a fake profile invented by a felon / convict / other.

Online dating / social networking USERS will metamorphose to CLIENTS only if the service has enough quality (as actual Offline Chains, that instead of disappearing, have good health).

Kindest Regards, Fernando Ardenghi.

Buenos Aires.

Argentina.

ardenghifer@gmail.com

If any dating site is offering FAKE profiles to attract users;it is a GREAT FRAUD.

Once upon somebody said "You get what you pay for"

Many online dating / social networking sites are offering a free-service / free-membership but

if

a person DOES NOT pay or DOES NOT want to pay for the service it clearly MEANS He or She are NOT INTERESTED in serious dating / networking.

A client MUST HAVE only one reason to pay a fee: this fee will work

- as a barrier to avoid free users, who could hurt other clients' feelings. If a client is paying SOONER OR LATER, will want to contact COMPATIBLE REAL PERSONS.

- as a barrier to avoid multiple / several profiles posted by the same person. - as a barrier to avoid a fake profile invented by a felon / convict / other.

Online dating / social networking USERS will metamorphose to CLIENTS only if the service has enough quality (as actual Offline Chains, that instead of disappearing, have good health).

Kindest Regards, Fernando Ardenghi.

Buenos Aires.

Argentina.

ardenghifer@gmail.com

How to improve the accuracy of personal info on online dating?

With a personality test, because it will work as a complement of the profile.

A personality test is like an INDEPENDIENT EVALUATION OF THE PERSON. An external point of view.

Many people try to "improve" to "retouch" photos and to "exaggerate" when filling likes and dislikes formulary. (Auto-description of personality). They can and they will lie and also if the membership is FREE they can appear several times with several profiles.

People trend to overestimate, overvaluation of its qualities, they do not say the exact truth.

Fernando Ardenghi.

Buenos Aires.

Argentina.

ardenghifer@gmail.com

How to improve the accuracy of personal info on online dating?

With a personality test, because it will work as a complement of the profile.

A personality test is like an INDEPENDIENT EVALUATION OF THE PERSON. An external point of view.

Many people try to "improve" to "retouch" photos and to "exaggerate" when filling likes and dislikes formulary. (Auto-description of personality). They can and they will lie and also if the membership is FREE they can appear several times with several profiles.

People trend to overestimate, overvaluation of its qualities, they do not say the exact truth.

Fernando Ardenghi.

Buenos Aires.

Argentina.

ardenghifer@gmail.com

In my own opinion mobile applications will only complement but not replace actual On line Dating / Social Networking Internet sites.

On line Dating / Social Networking WILL NOT metamorphose / morph to mobile equipments.

It is easy to use mobile internet with a laptop connected to a cell phone or a PDA but the cost is terrible high.

Comparison Example for Argentina.

Fixed computer: a computer or a laptop connected to a fixed phone line, cablemodem (broadband or dialup) cost nearly USD0,50 to USD1,00 per hour.

Mobile computer: a laptop connected to a cell phone or a laptop plus WAP access cost minimum USD6,00 per hour. Here, in Argentina, teenagers (age 13 to 25) mostly have cheap cell phones and are used to send SMS to initiate a contact, and after that, to chat via a fixed computer. (for On line Dating)

Perhaps this will occur worldwide due to high wireless costs.

Kindest Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi.

ardenghifer@gmail.com

Many online dating / social networking sites believe that their business model is to provide contents, and also many dating marketing executives invented NEW fakes PROFILES every day to increase traffic, but they are terrible wrong.An online dating site / social networking site is a CONTACTS PROVIDER, same as offline chains / offline dating agencies. For any person (visitor, user, client) the main objective is: to successfully find compatible contacts, be part of a community. To invest time and effort building a personal relationship with future in mind.

An online newspaper / magazine site is a contents provider.For any person (visitor, user, client) the main objective is: to be informed / updated (information with expiration date)

A search engine site is an information provider.For any person (visitor, user, client) the main objective is: to find the information / knowledge needed (most information without expiration date)

A job recruitment site is a service provider.For any applicant / candidate the main objective is: to find a desired job.For any company / recruitment agency the main objective is: to find the correct applicants / candidates.

An online bid site is a service provider. For any buyer the main objective is: to buy a desirable product / service.For any seller the main objective is: to sell a desirable product / service.Although persons are contacted, only for buy / sell goods or services, mostly only-one-time-transaction.

An online store site is a product provider.For any client the main objective is: to buy desirable products (books, clothes, computers, gifts, etc)

If any online dating / social networking site believes that its business model is to provide contents, it will fail. The only way to increase "conversion rate" is to morph / metamorphose from contents to contacts provider business model.

Fernando Ardenghi. Buenos Aires. Argentina. ardenghifer@gmail.com

By 2007 or sooner the market will divide into two well-identified branches.

13-25 years old persons (teenagers) not interested in serious dating; they will use the service for fun. They are used to send a lot of traffic with emails, photos, videos, or simply stay in chat rooms for hours. They will need exclusive contents for members like blogs for members, recipes for cooking, songs in mp3 format at special prices, advice about leisure activities, entertainment, travel, holidays, music, movies, books, online magazine about lifestyles, etc. They will want to be 24hs a day online or pending of their cell phone / PDA. Each person will have its private TRUMAN SHOW . Everybody will be TRUMAN for 5,000 "friends" (CASUAL ACQUAINTANCES). Mobile / wireless services for that group will not be cheap, perhaps operators will charge a fixed rate plan, but not less than USD100 per month. Mobile applications will only complement but not replace On Line Dating / Social Networking Internet sites

AND

26-and more years old persons interested in serious dating. They will need quality contacts (COMPATIBLE REAL PERSONS) like off line chains, reliability, code of ethics and legislation, which will protect them from felons, convicts, fake profiles, unsolicited offers, spyware, adware and other pest. They will know that "If any person does not pay for the service or does not want to pay for the service, he or she is not interested in serious dating, or is not interested in investing time and effort in building a new relationship with future in mind". They will pay for the service to avoid being hurt in their feelings by others. They know the difference between REAL FRIENDS from CASUAL ACQUAINTANCES and also the difference between COMMUNITY from MEAT MARKET. They will not be 24hs a day online or pending of their cell phone / PDA. Mobile / wireless services for that group will peak and decay because mobile dating is very time consuming, it could disturb at every moment.

Cordially,

Fernando Ardenghi Buenos Aires Argentina ardenghifer@gmail.com

The next generation of serious dating and matchmaking will be more scientific than ever.

2005: The Flight to Quality process started.

By 2008: Quality Norms ISO 9001:2000 & Legislation will be expected. The market will divide into two well-identified groups.

*13-25 years old persons (teenagers) not interested in serious dating; they will use the service for fun. They will need exclusive CONTENTS for them. They will also play "people matching people game"; although there is a hierarchy between human relationships where feelings are involved; and could be very dangerous and harmful like a "big liquidizer".

*26-and more years old persons interested in serious dating. They will need quality CONTACTS (compatible real persons), Special Services (professionalism): the next generation of dating and matchmaking will be more scientific than ever, most probably the 16PF5 test in different languages (or similar test) will be a "must have" in compatibility matching. This group will not allow their friends / mums / parents / neighbours / relatives or "interested third parties" to be involved in a private matter as building a personal relationship with future in mind; a process that only concerns two persons.These clients will have a good reason to pay for the service: avoid being hurt in their feelings by other persons.

Actually, many people try to "improve" their profile, to "retouch" photos and to "exaggerate" when filling likes and dislikes formularies in order to "sell better" their profile. People trend to overstate their qualities, they do not say the exact truth. They can and they will lie and also if the membership is FREE they can appear several times with several profiles. Lucky, a personality test like 16PF5 works as an independent evaluation of a person; an external point of view.

I noticed that many users / subscribers (to sites that use proprietary tests or models) complaint about an actual big problem in "scientific dating and matchmaking": lack of precision / low precision / low successful matching rates. As far as I could analyze, it seems that proprietary tests or models have great precision in measuring different psychological variables but the matching algorithm has low precision when comparing one psycho-pattern to others.

It could be a great improvement if any dating site that uses "scientific dating and matchmaking"; i.e. applying psycho-test to measure personality items; specifies its ENSEMBLE (the whole set of different valid possibilities):

Example:

- Only Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test: 16 different possibilities.

- Improved MBTI with photos, likes-dislikes forms will have more possibilities.

- Big-5 dimensions of personality with 10 degrees per independent variable at the results of the test: 100,000 different possibilities (personality types).

- Complete 16PF5 test with 10 degrees per primary variable, 10,000,000,000,000,000 of different possibilities.

And a figure per each comparison between persons, like: client#01 to client#02 == 74.79865772%

and not a poor bar-graphic or a series of 5 empty / half / full-filled hearts-icon.

Kindest Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi.

Buenos Aires.

Argentina.

ardenghifer@gmail.com

Extracted from

http://www.apa.org/journals/releases/psp882304.pdf

Page #19 of PDF whitepaper Page #322 of magazine

"................................

Couple Similarity and Marital Quality

Our study presents one of the most comprehensive examinations of the similarity–satisfaction link. The observed similarity–satisfaction correlations suggest that similarity on personality related domains was strongly associated with satisfaction, whereas similarity on attitude-related domains was not. This is an intriguing pattern of findings when considered in conjunction with the just reviewed assortative mating results: Spouses showed substantial similarity on attitude-related domains, but this similarity does not appear to be related to satisfaction; spouses were no more similar than randomly paired couples on personality-related domains, but this similarity appears to be important to satisfaction. .................

People may be attracted to those who have similar attitudes, values, and beliefs and even marry them (at least in part) on the basis of this similarity. However, once individuals are in a committed relationship, it may be primarily personality similarity that influences marital happiness. This suggests that attitude and value similarity may play a different role in relationship development than personality similarity does. For example, whereas similarity in attitudes and values appears to be important early on in the relationship and may play an important role in relationship progression, personality similarity becomes more important as the relationship reaches greater commitment. Our empirical findings and this proposition are certainly consistent with “filter” or “process” theories of relationship development (e.g., Kerckhoff & Davis, 1962; Murstein, 1980) that hold that patterns of similarity and complementarity on different individual-difference domains play differential roles at different points in the relationship development process. As discussed above, there are several reasons (visibility, salience, and psychological reward value) why similarity in terms of attitudes and values may influence individuals’ partner choices early in the relationship. However, given the substantial variances in value and attitude similarity we observed, it appears that not everybody is paired with a spouse who holds similar attitudes and values. Because of the visibility and saliency of attitudes and values, it is very likely that partners who are not similar on these domains are nevertheless aware of these differences from the outset and yet chose to marry each other anyway. It thus appears likely that attitudinal and value differences, when they exist, are part of a conscious decision to stay together on the basis of other important considerations. Personality-related characteristics, on the other hand, take much longer to be known and to be accurately perceived. Thus, they are not likely to play a more substantial role until later in the relationship development process. However, once individuals are in a committed relationship, it is difficult to ignore personality differences, because being in a committed relationship entails regular interaction and requires extensive coordination in dealing with the tasks, issues, and problems of daily living. Whereas personality similarity is likely to facilitate this process, personality differences may result in more friction and conflict in daily life. We currently do not have the data to examine these ideas; however, because of the importance of these issues to marital success and failure, future research designed to better understand these underlying processes is needed.

.................................."

Kindest Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi.

Buenos Aires.

Argentina.

ardenghifer@gmail.com

It is interesting to see how many persons speak/write about the FREE condition of a dating site.

But nothing is real free!!!When you post your profile to a "FREE dating site" or when you search for compatible real persons, you are spending time.TIME that you are paying with your LIFE.

If you "quantify" the time you spent in a "FREE dating site", suppose USD5.00/hour x 45 hours (1/2 hour x 3 months) == USD 225.00, USD 75/month!!!It is worth than any dating site's fee!!!!

Kindest Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi. Buenos Aires. Argentina. ardenghifer@gmail.com

More than 6 months passed

"Are the Real Benefits Getting Lost in Over Promises?" version 1.00 was released on March 9th.

http://www.weattract.com/images/weAttract_whitepaper_v1_4.pdfversion 1.40 was released on April 29th.

At page 22:" -Intensity of spread and excitement

-Disaster or highly publicized damage is observed

-Reform occurs in the industry

-Vigilance by industry and consumers become necessary."

The Industry is still in "Intensity of spread and excitement" level.

Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi. Buenos Aires. Argentina. ardenghifer@gmail.com

Okay, I'm not going to approach this from the mathematical probability angle it seems many of you are taking and arguing about.

I will say this, however. After talking and knowing well over 1000 people who've used online dating and actually bringing up the topic when teaching classes (as a T.A.), when asking for a show of hands for those who've used online dating, I've found almost every Master's student has, and there are a scant few Undergrads who haven't used SOME dating cite at gone on at least one date at sometime. I think with the kids now bringing brought up with the internet as MORE POPULAR ENTERTAINMENT than television, online dating sites will continue to populate the internet and with the Echo Boomers reaching dating ages, there are even MORE people who will pay to play.

Now, just a suggestion on how to IMPROVE things. I haven't heard word one from anyone else on the topic.

From talking to my students there is absolutely NO DOUBT that EVERY MALE will find his mailbox UNDERPOPULATED or males are truly UNDERserved by dating sites. For every 100 letters a guy writes, it seems to be they expect perhaps 3 replies. Women on the otherhand, when putting up a picture, find their mailboxes full in just 3 or 4 days, unable to get any new mail, or unwilling to search through the myriad of responses she received, hence they are OVERserved and are turned off for the exact opposite reason as men are--too many responses. Then after reading the first 30 letters, the realize the bulk of the letters are. I would like to see a site which doesn't allow men to send mail unless they are reached first. FORCE women to choose the men they write, and you will have a site where men will get mail which will be quite a change for just about every guy, and women will ONLY get mail from the guys they permit to write them. This will funnel out the "hey you wanna get laid" and the "I'm married. Will you have an affair with me?" type letters. The biggest complaint from college students about dating are these types of letters. The men don't like OTHER men who write them, and the women don't like to get them. The second biggest complaint are people who speak in computereeze, or in the "how r u" mode. Again, if a guy can't write a reasonable profile, he won't get permission to write women. Does this UNDERserve the stupid person? Probably. But, after all, who really wants to be with someone stupid? Okay, so there's my simple suggestion. I'd like a cite where men can post profiles, but only women can write. She'd have a profile as well, but it will only be able to be viewed once she writes a pool of men. No doubt this will lead to "form letters" but guys who use those have SAID they don't get many if ANY replies when attempting the form letter approach. I think you'll find the same would be true of women who used that approach, especially if guys are actually getting more than 1 or 2 emails every month, IF that. Now my views on the complaints about personality typing.

Note, what follows are MY EXPERIENCES with the use of the Meyers-Briggs, now updated to the "Keirsey" personality indicators (if you want to trace The Meyers-Briggs test and give Meyers and Briggs all the credit, you need to stop yourself. Read Jung's personality evaluators and realize that's the origin of the Meyers Briggs test and realize Jung borrowed an AWFUL lot from Aristotle's, so perhaps we should call it the Aristotlean personality indicator, since he was the first to suggest the 4 basic categories and the 16 subtypes. At least Keirsey is kind enough to give credit where credit is due, actually citing Jung and Aristotle as the sources, as well as giving you the words each would use for your type). Keirsey was the most recent person to do significant work on the Meyers Briggs personality indicators and has changed many of the questions on what some STILL call the Meyers Briggs test. I feel bad for Keirsey. His work is genius worthy of being mentioned along with Jung and Aristotle. Why such faith? Because since reading his work and doing industrial psychology field research using Keirsey, I've found Keirsey's recommendations for career fields to be on the nose. Artists DO tend to be SP's, Mathematicians, actuaruies and scientists NTs, Social and Mid Level Corporate workers spread amongst all fields are SJ's. NF's are found in academia more than any other place except certain sub types which permeate the sales field. Most of all the very small pool of actual NF's (about 10-15% of the population) are also the ones who tend to rise to the top in their fields. They're the pure "people people." :-)

So why do I care? and what does all of this have to do with online dating? Well, some people seemed to mind that the test used for compatability is the Keirsey test. When I took the test, it generated almost the exact "desired type" as the Meyers Briggs people found. Keirsey, however, disagreed with the Meyers Briggs "desired types" especially when talking about the NF's perfect match. Whereas it IS true most people are either SJ or SP (about 60 percent), Keirsey had logical reasons for finding the right match for each SUB type, and, being an ENXJ, I ended up as a combination of "the Growth Teacher" and the "The Field Marshall". I'm neither fully ENFJ nor fully ENTJ, but match both descriptions very well.

Now, as I've said and I say in my profile, I've been online dating since the Internet was first getting started. I'm talking back in the days of seperate BBS's having chat rooms, and ONLY chat rooms. That's where I found my first long term relationship (anything over 12 months of monogamous ROMANTIC contact is how I am using the term). We were together 2 years, and she was? A Keirsey ENFJ.... not surprisingly there IS no "perfect match" for the ENFJ says Keirsey and that ENFJ's, which make up a grand 2% of the population, might be best off finding another ENFJ, though even two ENFJ's might not work because of the eventual flaws in the personality of an ENFJ (idealization of partners, not recognizing their flaws as actual flaws, but rather something the ENFJ will help that person grow OUT of... and when two teacher's get together, someone will eventually learn something's wrong.).

Still, of the women I've dated, the only ones I seem to last ANY amount of time with are other NF types. SJ's of all subgroups are ALWAYS attracted to me at first but eventually, every time I've dated any SJ for any amount of time, the ENFJ feels when it's time to let them move on. I've NEVER dated an SP or "artisan" or 'the artist'. According to Meyers-Briggs, AND weattract, I'm supposed to be attracted to the quiet artistic type, but the truth is I can't stand them. I find them morally bankrupt. Gee... funny, but that's what Keirsey said would happen. I find NT women too distant as I can't stand someone who is utilitarian to any large degree (the NF part of me) but I AM partially utilitarian myself, so I'm hypocritical actually. And that's true. I am. It's also why I found myself an ENXJ or less than 1/2 of 1% of all people. When I get right down to it however, every woman I've met after I learned of Keirsey, I've given them the Keirsey test. If they're not an NF, I already know where the relationship is headed, though I don't try to guide it there. I don't prejudge. It doesn't matter. I still have only managed to have LTR's (long term relationships) with NF subtypes, which is what Keirsey says of the ENFJ (the FieldMarshall personality will come out... just hold on). So if I keep saying I only find happiness with other NF's, where's the NT? Well, the FIELDMARSHALL in me probably accounts for 1. My career choice of being a military officer, now a retired officer and 2. My success on the NASKA circuit and in the Army as a former National GrandChampion in weapons Kata (Budweiser Nationals in Atlanta, 1992, also called "Battle of Atlanta"), Army Champion in kumite, or point fighting in the lightweight category (I fought at 145 lbs.), and my particular approach to teaching anything martial, whether it was in the Army or teaching martial arts. I was very, uh, martial or perhaps MARSHALL about it. I teach under high intensity... My students always know I will not accept anything less than the most they can do. In my dojo, my classes are jokingly, but actually called "Samurai class courses", whereas other people didn't teach with the same intesity. I attracted those who wanted to learn to fight AND who knew I wouldn't baby them. I attracted those who WANTED to be pushed. If someone didn't want to be pushed, they didn't enroll in the dojo's label of Samurai class. There is no such thing of course.

So there IS validity in using the Keirsey approach to personality matching. My longest relationships have been of 6,4,4,3,2, and 1 years, dating back to when I was 15. Yep, I rarely spend much time out of a LTR, but when I get in one, they have all tested out as NF's except for my two earliest relationships, neither of which happened when I knew of the test. Still, 4 LTR's and all four with my Keirsey target type.

I know it's not perfect (if we go to Gardner's theory of intellect, Interpersonal intellect and Intrapersonnel intellect will actually affect how accurate the test is for you). After all, if you're not a deeply introspective person, nor very intuitive, you'll have a hard time answering the questions properly). Someone mentioned earlier how the weattract tests tend not to work well outside of those of us who speak English. I would guess that's due to poor translation or the inability to translate certain words exactly, rather than the flaw of the test. If Keirsey's work were translatable, perhaps we'd find it more accurate, but certain concepts don't exist in every culture. Regardless, to slam the weattract test because it uses an archetypical approach is silly. Of course as I've mentioned, the type they suggested for me wasn't what I wanted AT ALL! They described an SP. Just the type Meyers Briggs says NF's should want, but the type Keirsey says NF's WON'T want. IN MY EXPERIENCE, Keirsey is on the nose. But again, that's just MY EXPERIENCES and from my fieldwork.

Blessed be all...

Mackspane

- There is a quite interesting thesis at http://www.sims.berkeley.edu/~atf/thesis_mit/

The thesis’ name is “An Analysis of Behavior in Online Dating Systems” but it was only “Analysis of Behavior on ONE Dating System” (page 30)

Nonetheless it is interesting to read it with care. The conclusions were taken from a dating site (date research from June 2002 to February 2003) with 52857 “active members” over a total of 221800 members. The median age was 34 years old (page 38).

The findings: “Users opted for sameness more often than chance would predict in all the characteristics examined in this section. This concurs with the overwhelming evidence gathered by relationship researchers …… that actual similarity and perceived similarity in demographics, attitudes, values, and attractiveness correlate with attraction (and, later, relationship satisfaction). However, users demonstrate this homophily to differing degrees for different characteristics.” (page 47)

Nonetheless more valuable than the information provided is THE WAY research was conducted and fig. 2.1 at page 37, fig. 2.6 at page 54 and fig. B.13 at page 90.

As the author says on page 62 ” My exploration of behavior in online dating environments raises more questions than it answers. Each statistic begs for comparison with other online dating systems, with different populations and different interactional tools. The numerical results have human stories behind them that will require a complementary qualitative approach to unravel.Of course, the real question is what people are looking for in a partner, whether for a night, a date, or a lifetime. Online dating systems provide a copious amount of raw behavioral data that might improve our understanding of people’s complex goals in this arena, which will in turn help us improve the systems themselves.”

More information about Online Dating Systems could be seen at:http://www.idate2005.comhttp://www.corante.com/datinghttp://www.opw1.com

Kindest Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi.Buenos Aires.Argentina.ardenghifer@gmail.com

FUTURE TRENDS AND NEW DISCOVERIES ON THEORIES OF ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS DEVELOPMENT

The Online Dating and Social Networking Industry will need these TOPICS TO be RESEARCHED:

- If homophily dominates human attraction but "It seems that what is important in attracting people to one another may not be important in making couples happy."

- If temporal patterns of relationship variables : combination of physique, personality, intelligence, social background, attitudes, habits and leisure preferences may indeed play a significant role between mates / prospective mates :

--Early stage of temporal patterns: a combination of high level of infatuation, fantasy, passion, physical attraction between prospective mates ???

--Middle stage of temporal patterns: a considerable degree of similarity on social background, attitudes, habits and leisure preferences between mates ???

--Last stage of temporal patterns: if only high level on personality similarity between mates / couples could be the core of relationship stability and satisfaction???

-If complex mental processes (successful relationships based on a mental set arrangement) could be only exceptions for "couples by convenience" and not for "romantic couples" i.e. old rich man with young pretty lady.

-If a longitudinal approach will be "a must" in any research, and cross-sectional research must be discarded because does not take into account temporal patterns of relationship variables.

-If Big-5 (like N, E, O, A, C; Costa & McCrae) will not be enough any more to evaluate Couple Similarity between prospective mates; and the complete inventory, 16PF5 test or similar , must be used.

Serious OnLine Dating Sites and their Big Databases are NEW sources for scientific research. New Knowledge is waiting to be discovered inside these Big Databases!!!

Kindest Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi.

Buenos Aires.

Argentina.

ardenghifer@gmail.com

I think the consumers' #1 request is to find quality contacts (compatible real persons), like “here you have a list of 48 persons most compatible in a 10 million database's prospects, for dating or social networking”

Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi.

Buenos Aires.

Argentina.

ardenghifer@gmail.com

Reasons FOR Legislation

1) To limit liabilities (Companies' and Clients')

2) Sooner the FBI / CIA will investigate if many Dot Com Companies (Not only Personals / Not only USA Companies) - are avoiding paying taxes or also many are Laundering Money. - could avoid pay taxes or also many could Launder Money.

Also Public Dot Com Companies have to agree / fulfil / operate in compliance of Sarbanes Oxley Act (aka SOX NORMS)

Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi. Buenos Aires. Argentina. ardenghifer@gmail.com

Here is the link to someScientific Papers about THEORIES OF ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS DEVELOPMENTandQUANTITATIVE METHODS USED TO EVALUATE ATTRIBUTES AND TO COMPARE BETWEEN PERSONS.

http://mb.internetdatingconference.com/viewtopic.php?t=395

Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi. Buenos Aires. Argentina. ardenghifer@gmail.com

I insist in two segments:

THE FLIGHT TO ENTERTAINMENT.* 13_to_25_years_old_persons (teenagers) not interested in serious dating; they will use the service for fun. OnLine_Dating and Social_Networking will be the same for them and it will be seen as ENTERTAINMENT == instant gratification. This segment will need more fresh_and_new CONTENTS than quality CONTACTS; mobile applications will peak and decay due to future Legislation and carrier's costs.

AND

THE FLIGHT TO QUALITY.* 26_and_more_years_old_persons interested in serious dating. They will need quality CONTACTS;compatible real persons, confidential treatment of information provided, privacy, code of ethics, background checks, etc, like the contacts provided by OffLine Chains, but at affordable costs (If OffLine charges USD1,500 then OnLine will charge an amount between (USD300-USD800)

Kindest Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi.

Buenos Aires.

Argentina.

ardenghifer@gmail.com

I'd had an idea yesterday that instead of things that you're looking for getting posted, you post a list of your negatives and what you can compromise on. :P It's a realistic view and a much easier method for those having trouble defining their good qualities in respect to someone looking for them.

[b]Social Structure and Personality Assortment Among Married Couples[/b]June 6, 2006

"AbstractWe study the influence of [b]social structure on assortative mating for personality in a large national sample (n=3616) of married and cohabitating couples in the Netherlands.[/b] We find that [color=blue][b]couples with higher levels of education and from dissimilar religious origins are more similar with regard to prosocial personality characteristics.[/b] [/color] Because levels of education and religious heterogamy have increased, assortative mating for prosocial personality increases."

page 1 & 2

"[b]While opposites attract for short term affairs, similarity is preferred for marriage [/b](Amodio & Showers, 2005).It seems like a good idea for spouses to select each other on the basis of personality characteristics. Personality is highly stable throughout the life course (Roberts & DelVecchio, 2000). [b]Personality characteristics like agreeableness and neuroticism are good predictors of marital conflicts and ultimately of union dissolution, even across different relationships[/b](Robins, Caspi & Moffitt, 2002)............................In theory, spousal similarity with regard to personality may be affected at three stages in the marital career: before the actual relationship, when selecting a spouse;during the relationship, when living together with the spouse;and when the relationship ends...................."

at page 3" .... [b][color=red]In sum: spouses with higher levels of neuroticism and openness, spouses with lower levels of agreeableness, and couples with more dissimilar personalities at the time of marriage are more likely to divorce[/color][/b]."

weak point: They used Big Five instead of 16PF

Regards,

Fernando Ardenghi. Buenos Aires. Argentina. ardenghifer@gmail.com

I have read through the interesting and factual comments on this page. However, correct me if I’m wrong? I’m surprised that no one has mentioned logistics…More often than not it is not impractical not only from a time and commitment point of view but also the financial implications of travelling to see a date who lives for example lets say 200 miles away….Which is a long way for us Brits :-)

Compatibility testing, personality testing, body language testing…What ever test people take a date close by is far more attractive. Particularly for the divorce and separated with perhaps dependents.

So no matter how many tests you take and eventually find your perfect match ‘made in cyber heaven’ if you have strong emotional ties and financial commitments off line then in my opinion without either or prospective partner willing to sacrifice his of her environment sooner rather than later the relationship would struggle to survive.

A high level of commitment and trust would have to be established VERY early on with the challenge of distant and getting to know each other in ‘real’ and ‘different’ environments.

I’m based in the UK and the biggest challenge I see for the UK on line dating market are the clusters of predominately southern based on line daters. From the Midlands to the tip of Scotland the choice or lack of becomes more noticible. Locally based off line marketing would perhaps attract a better relationship success rate. The common denominator being that users would be associated by back ground, cultural, up bring, education etc Even on an Island as small as we are the differences can be quite diverse region to region county to county.

Having people answer their surveys honestly, and have their survey critiqued by subsequent dates. The computer marks an entry as questionable if 3 or more dates mark the entry as fraudulent.

I tried online dating at a Friendship thingy up in Michigan. I was matched with more than one woman who supposedly didn't smoke. They wreeked. They just used the dating service to go out and get free dinners. We had nothing in common.

Get a real girlfriend!

Mr. Thompson,

The only things that will improve online dating is to help clients to understand what they are really looking for. This means asking more reality need-based questions, not want based. That's where they fail. Many people begin the site dating thinking they'll just see what's out there. Well... everything is, therefore they don't understand when a fit doesn't fall in their lap.

Everybody wants perfect, when we ourselves are not. It's in reality when it fails. Starting from a clear guideline (profile) of ourselves helps the searcher to not be deluded/mislead. When I first speak with someone I've chosen online (or who've chosen me), I ask, 1) when was your last relationship, and 2) how did it end? Then I just let them talk. This has told me more about them then alot of the profile crap they'd write because we're all trying to sound content, happy, perfect.

By the way, I've been involved with someone I met online for two years.. both of us are single parents. I did use yahoo.personals, match.com, americansingles for over four years before it and enjoyed the experiences. I'm college educated and know that it can be fun and even successful, but the online system right now, doesn't ask the deeper questions they should.

Relationships are not like picking out carpet. It needs more thoughtful questions for more thoughtful answers.. and when they don't given thoughtful answers.. that says something as well.

I hope that helps.