Don't you hate trying to signal waiters who deliberately never look at you in restaurants?
Why not develop a simple battery powered device with three buttons and two coloured lights: service, bill (check), cancel.
The lighthouse will sit in the middle of the table and as soon as you are ready to order or want some service hit the service button and continue to chat up your sexy new date without the distraction of having to attract the attention of a waiter.
Similarly when you want your bill (check), just hit the check button and the waiter can fix your bill without having to come over to the table and find out that you want your bill.
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The light system is a good idea but it is not necessary for it to be battery powered. Also a request for service could be a steady light for a couple of minutes and then go into blinker mode to indicate impatience when it is not noticed. It would also encourage better service if several lights went into blinker mode indicating the waiter was not performing well.
In Japan many restaurants have booths that are quite private, even with curtains you can pull down. They have buttons you can press to ring for a waiter, if nobody comes, just keep ringing it. The kitchen staff will get pretty annoyed with the waiter! But, in Japan you would never have to wait for that long!
In some restaurants you can do all the ordering through a touchscreen computer in your booth/private room. When it is ready it is brought to you.
In most restaurants you would go to the cash desk to settle your bill.
I think the best solution to a crappy waiter is to not go back to the restaurant :)
Thanks for the comments below. Sure the system could be powered from the mains or solar powered for outside settings. IT could also be more sophisticated with wireless connections to the kitchen and waiter station. We could also introduce a flashing system after a wait of 2 minutes or so.
The wonderful thing is that you will no longer have to spend time trying to catch the eye of a waiter and waiters will not have to constantly scan the room. Everyone can just get on with their meal and their jobs and service will be made more efficient and less stressful.